We like to think this is how Braddock would kick back on Turkey Day….
Tired of that same ol’ tried-and-true Thanksgiving routine? Turkey, stuffing, potatoes, couch, football, nap, leftovers, sleep, rinse and repeat. Yawn. We hear you. That’s why the team here at CHARGE! would like to offer a few suggestions to spice up (both literally and figuratively) your Turkey Day. Let’s face it, a little action and adventure added to your regular routine can make for a fun and memorable Thanksgiving. And help you get through the day with relative ease.
Start the day with champagne? Wine? Nah. Beermosas are required for a CHARGE-d Thanksgiving. The best beermosas combine a wheat beer or a Belgian-style ale with a tasty splash of orange juice. How much of the orange juice to utilize is completely up to you. It’s the best of both worlds: delicious breakfast hour beverage combined with the wonderful power of beer. Keep ‘em flowing all day (but be responsible, of course). You’ll need this to get through the endless barrage of singing and dancing in front of a department store during the Thanksgiving parade.
Speaking of which:
Now, You See, This is Where the Silly Balloon Floats and the Puny Armed People Try to Contain It…
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s film commentary tracks are an amusing source of entertainment all their own. Take, for example, his wonderful commentary track for Total Recall in which he… well, totally recalls everything that unfolds on-screen as it happens. Keeping Arnold in mind, while viewing the Thanksgiving Day parade in the morning with your friends and family, we suggest hitting the mute button. Rid yourself of the same mundane banter you hear every year, and encourage everyone to partake in commentating on the parade action in their best Schwarzenegger. Bonus points if you’re able to incorporate classic lines from his films into the action on-screen.
Start the Day with a Little “Unfinished Business…”
Festivus has the Airing of the Grievances. While Thanksgiving is a reflective holiday in which we contemplate and are thankful for everything that we have, it should also serve as a little bit of a release. Especially given just how tense people have been lately. Vent a little steam. That way you’re all thankful at the big meal without any subtext or tension. It worked for the crew of the Battlestar Galactica. May we recommend heading to your favorite department store and picking up several sets of the inflatable boxing gloves? Set up a few one-on-one bouts between the family and work up a hunger with a few quick jabs. Just take it easy on grandma. Second thought, watch out for Grandma. We hear she fights dirty.
Give Your Turkey the Nashville Hot Deep-Fried Treatment…
Injections and rubs are so last year. If you really want to kick up your Thanksgiving, the turkey’s got to be spicy AF. Why not go the Nashville Hot route and deep fry your turkey? MyRecipies has a fairly simple method of cooking that bird, just take it easy with the propane turkey fryer. As much as we all love to see fire and explosions, save it for the on-set special effects wizards in Hollywood and not for your backyard. Want to go the extra mile? Why not forgo the electric carving knife, be like Braddock and chop that thing with machete?
Once you get to the evening’s football festivities, you’re in the clear. Unless your family is divided on their team allegiances. We can’t help you there. Although, you’ll have the inflatable boxing gloves at the ready… just saying.